It’s been two weeks since we set out and my stomach still can’t get used to the waters.

The choppy waves seem to crash against our ship with the intent to capsize it and ruin me and everything we carry inside. The captain tells us to have faith in God, He will fix everything and make sure we’re well taken care of. To which I say, if God wanted to do something about this ship and this world, he would have acted a long time ago.

People on this ship are a little strange. They’re all incredibly religious folk who believe the captain’s nonsense about God. They’re kind, but very chatty and sometimes that grates on my nerves.

I long for the days when I was with you in your cabin. It was just you, and me, and the silence of the forest. There were no unstable waves, no chatty sailors, just serenity and peace. I miss the nights we spent breathless in the woods, and I miss the low lights swinging in the kitchen while we sang and cooked together, and I even miss your family. They are quite pleasant, and (a sailor is banging on my door right now) very quiet.

This sea is massive, expansive, sometimes when you look out on a clear day, you can actually see how the earth curves at the horizon. There is no other ship in sight, no land mass, it’s just me. Tiny little me on a rickety ship with a delusional captain and religious chatty sailors.

Some days I fear I might not make it back to your side again, and when that happens, the ship seems to lurch more than usual and the moon doesn’t shine as bright. Those days I can barely find the energy to roll out of bed in the morning. But other days I force some faith down my throat and make myself believe that we’ll be together again. Those days the night sky is beautiful,  the sea is at peace, and so am I.

My darling, I can’t stop thinking about you. I want you to know that you and our future together is in my thoughts every second of every day. I’m going to put this letter in a bottle now, and cast it out to sea in hopes that its reckless cruelty turns to whimsical kindness, and that it reaches your shores.

The sea is big, but not as big as my love for you. The sky is beautiful, but not as beautiful as you. And… I miss you.

-With all my love

 

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