In the previous post I talked a bit about how I usually post depressing things about my status in life right now, and how I was going for a change of pace. Instead of writing about sad things, I was going to write about something that makes me happy. It turned out to be surprisingly popular and it did make me happy to write about, so I’m going to keep the positivity train rolling and talk about my boyfriend.

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That’s us in his hometown in Sweden

For those of you who don’t know (though those who follow me certainly already do) I’m in a long distance relationship with him that spans not a city, not a state, not a country, but an entire goddamned oceanIf everything in the immigration process goes well, I’m going to move in with him in around seven to eight months, but in the meantime we’re stuck almost 9,000 kilometers apart from each other, and with 9 hour time difference that doesn’t exactly do any favors.

It’s not easy, is my point.

But if I focus exclusively on things that are hard, I’m never going to make it out of this alive. Not just me, all of us. If we focus on things that impede us, block us, depress us, or otherwise hurt us, we’re never going to move forward.

So instead of focusing on the horrible half a year of waiting, I’m going to focus on this.

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This is from Gröna Lund: A popular Swedish amusement park

Don’t get me wrong, going to the supermarket is fun if Karl-Johan comes with, but going to Gröna Lund was a completely different thing. Going on those rides, cutting off circulation from Kalle’s hand from squeezing it so hard while screaming out of fear and exhilaration. Not being able to close my eyes even in the most terrifying moments because Stockholm was so beautiful and my life had never looked better…
Waiting in line to go on the wooden roller coaster for the third time because it was honestly just that great…
Stealing pictures of ourselves from the screen instead of buying them like decent human beings…
Grabbing on to Karl-Johan’s waist while we sat on a “magic carpet” ride that would drop us into a dark hole. Feeling how close he was to me, breathing in his scent and feeling entirely safe with him in my arms…
Those are things worth focusing on.

We have to hold on to the good in our lives, whether that’s good memories, good people, good stories, or hell, even good food. That’s how we move forward in life: by remembering happy times, keeping hope and faith that they’ll come back, and working hard for their return.

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