Entry from my journal

I was gonna go to sleep, but I couldn’t go to sleep without writing this first.

I was looking at my old notebooks, and while I was never a carefree child, I sure had no idea of the burdens that would meet me up ahead. Things like medications, necessary distraction, anxiety attacks. They always lurked in the corners, but they never truly showed themselves until now.

Now I feel hopeless. I feel a bit like I’m counting down to destruction. I love this world. I love this planet. I love life. And the constant feeling that the planet is dying and we’re dying along with it is too much.

A miracle might happen tomorrow. But it seems like the news is more and more often bad than good.

And I read my old notebooks with the intention of feeling, “Dang! Did you ever think you’d be here?” Now the same question stands, but with a silent, somber tone.

After all, is life still worth living with no hope?

As I said, I was never a carefree child. But dang. I never thought I’d be hopeless.

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